When we moved into our house the very first thing I did was change the exterior door locks. The front door received a new deadbolt and locking handle. The back door was keyed to match. Thereafter, a new garage door opener was installed.

There was one lock I didn’t change: the mailbox. Our condo complex has a front gate (entered via keypad or actual key) and a group of mailboxes which use cam-style locks. I figured the former owner changed addresses, the HOA would change the gate lock, and that would be that.

Wrong.

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I’m a big fan of Monster. The green can gives a nice boost without the jitters from a double-shot of espresso and I expect the other additives help out in the energy department. The big question I have is the caffeine content. How much does a 16 ounce can have compared to a typical cup of coffee?

As usual, a Google search revealed tons of hits and most of them were craptacular. In most cases they stated “yes, Monster has caffeine” and fail to mention how much. Telling me how many calories it has is pointless - it’s printed on the can.

Eventually I found Energy Fiend which reveals Monster’s caffeine content and compares it to a large number of other beverages. Clicking through on any beverage, Monster included, gives further details. In another nice twist of oft-missing accuracy on the ‘net, data sources are cited and linked.

In a move to further aid the caffeine inquisitive you can research foods, sugar content, and calculate your daily buzz intake. Got a death wish? Find out how much of your favorite drink you can handle before it kills you. For me, 70 cans of Monster back-to-back will do it.

So how much caffeine does the typical 16 ounce can of Monster contain? Based on 8 ounce servings, the green machine runs 20 mg less than coffee: 80 mg vs 100 mg. Take that Joe!

Now that we’re in our new digs I’ve started exploring the neighborhood. Down the street to Tomboy’s Famous Chiliburgers I went. Adoring their walls are restaurant reviews, the first which dates to 1984 when the joint was run by friendly New Yorkers who (obsessively quoted by the author) say “caw-fee” to the locals. Judging by the clerk’s name on my receipt I’m certain the New Yorkers have fled for greener pastures.

I took notice of the wallpaper all around me. Something from the 70s, maybe early 80s, with a silvery reflection and wide vertical bars with interspersed verticals of complementary colors. The wallpaper was old…ugly…the equivalent of shag were it carpeting.

It got me thinking of our home’s innards that hint to its age. Metal stair railings. Hideous ceiling fans and blinds. Dark brown kitchen cabinetry backed with wood paneling from a by-gone age. Fortunately every wall is painted in light or pleasing colors with no wallpaper to speak of. Oh wait…crap. The guest bathroom has wallpaper, dare I say it, almost the same as Tomboy’s.

Day in, day out we’re busy working, solving problems, raising children, and doing whatever. Suddenly a year goes by. Then two, five, and ten. How much exactly?

Imagine your life as a passenger train hurling down the tracks at breakneck speed. Are you the engineer or the passenger? One is responsible for where it goes and maintaining it for safe passage. The other is simply along for the ride staring idly at the passing landscape.

The next time you’re wondering just how much time has passed (and if you’re the engineer or passenger) take a look at your walls. If the same crazy paper is staring back at you I think you’ll know the answer.

I (well, we) bought a rental property a few years ago. The process was a piece of cake really. Our realtor took the bull by the horns and charged on through. Everything was handled, gotchas caught, tell us where to sign, done.

Monday we close on a townhouse and the experience has been very different. Rather than tirade about the details here’s a summary of what I learned:

• Don’t use a mentor-less novice realtor: they mean well but don’t know the details that make you pull out your hair. Even if they “partner” with a seasoned realtor, think twice.
• Get a safety inspection performed very quickly after the seller accepts your offer: if you, the buyer, are crunched for time you lose negotiation power.
• Have ready cash reserves: at every corner you need to spend money you didn’t expect (inspections, buying down points, repairs the seller won’t); how much additional to your deposit/down payment? Thousands.
• Be ready to walk away: depending on your market the seller may shrug off significant repairs they caused. Informing your agent, lender, and escrow officer that you’re considering bailing out really gets things moving.

In all, it’s been more difficult to buy in California than it was Dallas. Perhaps it’s the difference between a Buyers Market and a Sort-of Buyers Market and the expertise of the parties involved.

Whatever the case, your home-buying knowledge, ability to make (and keep) a plan, and intuition (gut feeling) wil keep the ship on course.

For months I’ve been trying to send my Lita Ford CD to someone, anyone, at lala.com. Each time I get an email asking for it, some former mullet-wearing dude has already mailed theirs.

Yesterday afternoon I was victorious when I pounced on the email asking for Lita. Finally, rather thankfully, that craptastic CD is gone from my collection.