Dear Sting, Stewart, and Andy:

Just having spent a small fortune on tickets to your show in Phoenix I felt it necessary to make a few comments. I’m not sure who is getting the majority of the ticket revenue (I can only hope it’s the three of you) but let’s put it in perspective: I can fill my wife’s SUV for 6-months for the same price. Six months of dinosaur juice in exchange for a few hours of one evening. Make it count.

In recognition of my life-long support (i.e.: CDs, videos, books, shows) and recent sacrifice of almost five c-notes I feel you owe me (and others of my ilk) a few things:

• Play long: this means a three hour show
• Don’t play Synchronicity from front to back: it’s a great album but mix it up; hell…put Andy on vocals for Be My Girl
• Sting…no jazz; I mean it
• Sting…get over it; the only person expecting perfection is you
• Sting…feel free to invite me to your Italian villa as I now own a small piece of it measuring approximately 1.5 centimeters by 0.8 centimeters; you’ll find it near the back stairs to the garden
• Play nice: for what I paid, I expect that you will smile, enjoy yourselves, and put on a killer show because I deserve it

We’ll see how this works out on June 18th.

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