I realized something the other day about saying “thank you.” If I’m a customer in a transaction with a vendor (or retailer, whatever) who should be saying “thank you” and how emphatically?

I was raised to be courteous and polite so I’m always thanking everyone. Probably when I shouldn’t be. Some recent experiences and got me thinking about doing it differently.

Our rental in Dallas has been undergoing some minor repairs and prep for a new tenant. The handyman emphatically thanked me for doing business with him and “really appreciated it.” At the time I thought his enthusiasm was strange because I needed the work done and should be thanking him for doing it.

Then the carpet cleaning service was very thankful about the work I sent them. Wow, what’s going on here with all of this thankfulness?

Next I called a web development company who is doing some work for a client. There have been mail delivery problems to their Florida office because of the hurricanes and I’ve been following up to ensure they’ve gotten payment to start the project. It took a number of phone calls to determine the check was never doing to arrive so my client re-sent another one. I had to keep calling the vendor and ask “did you get it yet?” at which point I was told “let me check” then “no, we haven’t” then “I’ll call you tomorrow with a status.” Tomorrow would come and go with no phone call.

I called the vendor yesterday and (surprise!) “I don’t know if the check got here - let me call accounting - oh they’re out to lunch.” I proceeded (probably with too much desire to make this guy wrong) to ask why I had to keep nagging them. “I’m trying to give you money - don’t you want it?” was my first comment and followed up with “shouldn’t you be looking into this every day and calling me with an update?”

He went off (like a timebomb) about how he doesn’t control mail delivery, blah, blah, not my fault, blah, blah. steadfastly taking no ownership in the matter. Finally I said “you know I’m the customer and you’re arguing with me.” That must have hit a nerve in the common sense part of his brain and he shut up, pissed off as far as I could tell.

What have I learned from this?

1. Hostile attacks will get you hostile rebuttals
2. Do business with vendors who appreciate the business and thank you with enthusiasm
3. Thank my vendors when they do something to warrant it - a fast response, a comp, something above and beyond the call of duty
4. Think twice before thanking vendors when they’ve done nothing to deserve it

The world is filled with choices and vendors should be grateful when they’re chosen. Not the other way around.

And yes, people are nicer in Texas. Even with the 10-gallon hats.

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